At the pine tree, I stopped pedaling. I leveled my cranks. My front tire hit the base of the log. My front tire turned 90 degrees away from my intended path! My handle bars still pointed straight toward the log. My mind wondered just how tight Bike N Bob had screwed down the God Damn headset! My body flew over the Log. And just before doing a face plant in a tree, I heard the sickening sound of a hollow carbon fiber bike frame being smacked against a hard ridged surface. My SPD clipless pedals failed to be "clipLESS!" And with my puny legs still attached, I scraped the "Y" bike up one side and over the top of the Four Foot Log.

Immediately Jim and Adam both ran to the "Y" bike and started looking for scratches on the frame. I lay upside down and semi-conscious in a thorn covered locust tree while Jim and Adam continued searching the "Y" for signs of damage. Adam squealed with delight when he saw the Y-33 model number decal now only saying, "Y-?".

I tried to stand, but my legs were just rubber and I was still a little dazed. I had a handful of 3 inch thorns sitting in my backside and my nose was bleeding. One eye was almost swollen shut and the other was turning purple. My lower lip was split open exposing a jagged row of lower teeth, giving me a hideous, evil grin. I opened my mouth to talk, but only a gargling sound came out. I then tried walking a straight line to my damaged bike, but looked like a drunk staggering home from an all night drinking binge. As I swaggered hunched over, arms outstretched and moaning toward my bike and Adam, Jim told his son to take a good long hard look at me.

"Son" Jim said softly, "That's what Mr. Bonk looks like when he comes knocking at your front door."

Adam's wide eyes locked onto mine and I could see he was terrified of ever meeting Mr. Bonk on the trail! He grabbed at his water bottle for another pull on the life saving liquids and found it empty. As he panicked, he suddenly jumped at me and pushed me face first down into the dirt! He grabbed the water tube hose from my Camel Back and stuck it in his mouth. He then started rapidly jumping up and down on my back. By repeatedly jumping up and down on the Camel Back water bladder, he was able to pump the thing dry in about 30 seconds!

As he bounced up and down on me, for the last remaining drops of the precious liquid, I swear, I heard each and every rib in my chest crack once again. And somewhere off in the distance, I heard Mr. Bonk,or maybe Bike N Bob, chuckling and laughing.