Part 1 - "Bike 'N Bob casts his line"

I was sitting in the chair at the Hair Affair Beauty Salon today when my new cellular phone started ringing, or more correctly, chirping. So Sheri, my hair stylist, had to stop cutting the hairs around my bald spot and let me pick up my new flip phone. I knew it had to be my wife Judith. She never has trusted me in a large room filled with beautiful women and besides she's the only one with my cellular number.

"Hello Judith." I stuttered, as my other ear strained to hear what the good looking blonde in the next chair was saying to her beautician about the intimate details of her personal life.

"No Don, It's me Bike'N Bob."

"How the Hell did you get my Number?!"

"We called your wife and told her you were buying a "" bike. Then, right after the stream of profanity, and just before she slammed down the receiver, she blurted out, "Here's the asshole's number!"

"But, Bob, I'm not buying no "" bike."

"You might after you see what the UPS man just brought me. I've got one of them new Trek carbon fiber "" mountain bikes in a cardboard box right now. Stop on by the shop this afternoon and take a look at it. We're putting it together right now."

Well, what cyclist couldn't resist a call like this from Bike'N Bob himself? I jumped out of the stylist chair, told Sheri there was a crisis at work and ran out the door with the store's smock still tied around my neck. Bob met me at the front door of his shop and when I walked in he mumbled something to Gil, his number 1 mechanic, about going fishing now that he had the right bait.

They lead me into the dimly lit back room and there, hanging from it's seat post in a Park workstand, was a nude, virgin "" frame, not yet fully dressed with her XTR components. It was the high-priced Y-33 model. Up to this point, I had only seen pictures of the bike in Trek ads. And those I read late at night with a flashlight under the covers in my room. If Judith ever found out that I was contemplating something close to adultery, I'd be buying the John Bobbitt signature model lycra shorts Performance has on their sale page. Now, before me was this ice blue plastic frame with a beautiful yellow Rock Shock up front. The two yellow legs of the shock were well formed and I found them perfectly round as I ran my hands up over them and on down the frame. The bottom bracket was in place, and I gave the crank a couple of gentle turns......